OK, so I was not going to do update because I am SO tired but I am also SO excited to share so here goes... Last week when Sophie had her surgery as we were literally walking in the Dr said "Oh there is a possibility that some of the tissue doesn't make it and turns black and die" so after what was a MUCH longer than anticipated surgery everything seemed to be going well. I think initially I wasn't prepared mentally for the big incisions all over. When you look at before and after pics its after after not like seconds after if you know what I mean and the incisions have time to heal. So initially I was a little let down by the appearance. Then we passed the time and really Sophie was just sleeping and had no interest in eating so eventually around 10 or so Craig and I went to sleep (I got the little cot thing and Craig dozed in a chair - good man!) When the nurses would come in Craig or I would get up and we had seen that one of the drains was bleeding a little early on but not too bad. Well around 5 am I thought it was about time to reposition Sophie and Craig and I thought we can do this without help and I went to roll her on her side and she had been on her back and the bed was covered in blood and as the nurse came to investigate I discovered the purple area. I was emotionally and physically sick! I thought oh no this is the dying tissue. I remember sitting there thinking of when Jesus asked the disciples to "watch and pray" in the garden of Gethsemane and how many times I have thought over the years "how could they fall asleep?" and here I am sleeping when my sweet little baby needed me praying for her. I was filled with shame. Later the Dr said it was too early to tell if that area would make it and we would just watch and see. (Try watch and pray! I learned my lesson!) Later that day I took a nap with Craig and Grace. Grace was laying next to me and had a tank top on and I was looking at her sweet little perfect back and thinking how awful that at nine months old my little baby girl has feet of railroad track scars all over her body, more than some of us have several decades later, I felt so sad! That night I wept bitter sobbing tears into my pillow. How can we go through this again and again, year after year? How can I make things right for my baby!? Unfortunately we came home with the drains in which ended up being a whole fiasco where they required constant dressing changes as she would bleed rather profusely at the drain sites but not into the actual drains! We only emptied a few drops once! So after 4-5 days of constant laundry loads of blood soaked tshirts and sheets and blankets and dressing changes 4-5 x a day (we were only required to change them once mind you but we had to more because she was soaking through the gauze) which was not fun (ask my mom and dad) as it was the only thing that seemed to cause her pain. We came up with an elaborate configuration so she wouldn't see the drains and pull on them to pin them up to the back of her shirt and put a stretchy net tube around her torso and we called her the little uni-bomber because she looked as though she was ready to blow some place skyhigh! It was amusing! As the days went by we were told to keep watch for blistering that was the sign that the skin was going to die. Tue night when we changed her bandage there was a second spot that was REALLY dark, blacker than the other spot which had virtually not changed. Craig and I were heartsick. Wed afternoon the Kerkstras from church came to pray with us. We sat little Sophie on the dining room table and all put our hands on her and prayed for her healing and specifically that spot. Literally as they were leaving Craig got the mail and we opened a letter saying the surgeon had booked her for surgery the next week and we had been told that he would set aside time in case he needed to drain it or fix the dying section. Then moments later we noticed that a new section of her shirt had stains. We suddenly realized this wasn't the side with the drain and pulled up her shirt to see it darker still, draining fluid and two circles that looked like blisters, I thought Oh no this is really happening. I was brokenhearted all Wed evening, had trouble concentrating at bible study, would frequently burst into tears in the car. Well if ever joy comes in the morning....This morning I had to work and was concerned about getting bad news at work but felt almost relieved that Craig was bringing Sophie in. They went to see the Dr and....
(From Craigs Prayer Journal) Praise God, the Jehovah Rapha - the Great Physician, My Savior, My Righteousness. Holy Holy Holy are you God, the Healer, you are SO great! Awesome, wonderful, So good and merciful. Holy Father, Thank you for your continuing answers to our prayers and your miraculous healing hand on my daughter. Yesterday fear crept in that her back flap was dying, but you rescued it from death and brought it life giving blood. You brought healing and reassurance. You brought peace and comfort, joy. You are so good. To hear the words from Dr. Mann "its healing well, it looks great" was just a wave of relief and assurance that not only are we doing the right thing but more importantly that you the Creator of all, the one who forms us in the womb is in control and orchestrating every detail, even to the point of her preferring to sleep on her stomach so that the back would heal with minimal fluid build up. Oh praise you, you are holy, holy, holy. Thank you God for such a great cloud of witnesses, all the people who pray for her - family, friends, church people, people we don't even know. Praise you God for all these wonderful prayer warriors....
I second our devoted thanks to all of you! Basically Craig described a red ring that has formed over night around the dark areas indicating that blood is flowing up from below, that new skin is forming. Where there was death God has brought life! Amen. I just had my second to last bible study on the book of Daniel last night, and we were reading in Revelation that the ultimate enemy that Christ will defeat is not the Antichrist or Satan, no its death! He will destroy death! And I just witnessed a preview in my living room! Wow. Craig and I are blown away! So yes it was a good day! I will post more pics later when it has a little more time to heal. The Dr is already planning to start the next round of expanders in a couple months. I hope this time goes slow and we can just enjoy being "normal" for a little while. Thank you thank you thank you, a hundred times thank you to all of you. An especially big thank you to my Mom and Dad, who sat with us ALL day at the hospital, prayed with us, encouraged us and dried our tears (and Sophies too!) and also survived assisting with a horrific bandage change and got an unfortunate taste of what we go through far too regularly. Thank you to Mom Travis for coming and giving Grace a ton of fun and attention, for doing laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, dishes! You rock! We wouldn't have survived without you either. You pick up all the loose pieces even making sure the dog isn't neglected. It came in handy that you are a nurse too!! Thank you to my sister Ange for having Grace over last night so Craig could take Sophie to the appointment alone. And for our church and specifically the Kerkstras for praying with us! I could go on and on, everyone is awesome. Please watch the video above and praise God with me! Amanda and Craig!
Summertime Sweets
2 years ago
